The Path to Here and Now

No. 16 | This past Saturday evening I had the opportunity to share songs with some friends, some old ones, and some new.  We had a wonderful evening together.  As I consider the time, I am grateful for so many things.  

I love to share the songs but must admit that I am a bit out of practice.  I will leave those details for another time or personal conversations.  Everything went well, better than I had hoped. I am just aware that I am a bit rusty after not being able to share them live for a while. I am still getting my stage legs back, I suppose.

I awoke on this particular Saturday morning considering that I would that evening be standing before a room of people expected to share a wagonload of songs.  The thought made me a little nervous.  

At the very next moment, I asked myself the question.  How did I end up here?  When I reach for the guitar in that room, how will I have ended up in that place?  That is when the writing started.  What a wonderful and heart encouraging experience.  I encourage everyone to take pad and paper, smartphone notepad, or similar; and to engage in such an exercise. 

If Jewell hadn’t married Molly.   

If Maxine hadn’t married Herbert. 

If the US had not dropped the big bombs on Japan to end the war.

If my mom hadn’t taken piano lessons as a little girl. 

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Aligning Stars

No. 15 | I woke up this morning thinking about aligning stars.  I went to bed thinking about sharing songs.  I spent yesterday evening with a few old friends listening to some wonderfully gifted unknown-to-me songwriters here in town.  It was an evening lit with magic and sincere sharing of hearts and stories and the songs that intertwine them.   

The experience stirred up within me tremendous gratefulness for life, for the life I have been given, the story in which I have been cast as player, and all that has unfolded thus far.  Were I to let you peek inside, you would see that as a songwriter I have known a fair amount of disappointment.  In the very next moment, were you to ask me what in my life I would go back and change, I would answer “not a thing”.   

There is more story to be told here for certain. There is more story for me here to work out. The summary is simply that for whatever reason, for much of my life, the songs have been mostly just for me. That sounds to me selfish as I put it down, but up until very recently, I could not imagine how they might emerge from the everyday business and demands of my life as I have known it. Even today, I have to doubt my doubts concerning these things.

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Art

No. 14 | I had a moment yesterday evening that, looking back on it now, I feel as though I experienced from multiple vantage points. From one vantage point, I was just experiencing a simple conversation occurring in time. There was an awkwardness to the conversation that was there because I had brought it. There was another vantage point wherein I was looking on, watching what was taking place, and asking good questions. Why was I feeling the emotions that I was feeling? Did I believe the answers that I was giving to the questions asked of me? Is this who I want to be? As those questions arose, something within me said, “This moment matters. There is something here that you need to work out.” For quite some time after what for most involved was just a passing conversation, I have continued to poke and prod my heart with some helpful questions. 

Between that moment and this, I have done a fair amount of soul searching. And while I am sure I still have much of that left to do, I do see some things that I have needed to see.  

Fundamentally, the conversation was about art. In this case, it concerned music specifically. But at base, the question I afterward found myself wrestling with was this: What is the value of art? 

In May of 2015, Picasso’s Les femmes d’Alger (Version ‘O’) sold at auction for $179.4 million. Picasso may not be the best example as he acquired considerable wealth from his art. Van Gogh’s The Starry Night is valued at over $100 million, and he sold only one painting in his lifetime. So what is the value of unmonetized art? What is the value of the lullaby you make up and sing to your child as you rock her to sleep?  

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